Love.
Love is what created us, what moves us, and what we were created to do. And I can think of very little to describe the Love of God for us, and the Love we are to have for each other more than this chapter.
If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.
~ Love never gives up.
~ Love cares more for others than for self.
~ Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
~ Love doesn't strut,
~ Doesn't have a swelled head,
~ Doesn't force itself on others,
~ Isn't always "me first,",
~ Doesn't fly off the handle,
~ Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
~ Doesn't revel when others grovel,
~ Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
~ Puts up with anything,
~ Trusts God always,
~ Always looks for the best,
~ Never looks back,
~ But keeps going to the end.
Love never does. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete arrives our incompletes will be canceled. When i was an infant at my mother's breast, I gurgled and cooed like any infant. When I grew up, I left those infant ways for good. We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before teh weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!
(and this is my favorite favorite part)
But for right now, until that completeness, we have three things to do to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
1 Corinthians 12
vs 2 ... Remember how you were when you didn't know God, led from one phony god to another, never knowing what you were doing, just doing it because everybody else did it? It's different in this life. God wants us to use our intelligence, to seek to understand as well as we can.
I remember what it was like before I met God all too well. I was sad - all.the.time. I was empty. I could never get enough, of anything. I struggled, I cried, I pretended everything was okay. I desperately searched for happiness anywhere I could find it. by the time I finally went back to church at the age of 24, I had almost completely destroyed myself.
I think of the story of the Prodigal Son quite often. While I had been away from God, I had committed horrible sins, I had hurt countless people. I was battered, broken, dying. I had taken so long to go to church because I had feared harsh judgment, not just by people, by by God. Instead, I was embraced, forgiven, loved. God was not concerned about the road I had taken to get back to Him - He was just glad I was back.
vs 27 ... You are Christ's body - that's who you are! You must never forget this. Only as you accept your part of that body does your "part" mean anything.
I have loved the "parts of the body" comparison since the very first time I heard it. I have always felt awkward and out of place. I was never pretty or thin enough to be part of the "it" crowd. Never athletic enough for the jocks. Too citified for the countryfolk, too countrified for the cityfolk. I didn't even really fit in with the dorks. I was always just me becoming a Christian and a part of the Body of Christ was huge for me. I belonged. I mattered. I had a place and I had purpose. Now I just have to figure out what it is, which I haven't been able to do yet. Thankfully, God is patient.
I remember what it was like before I met God all too well. I was sad - all.the.time. I was empty. I could never get enough, of anything. I struggled, I cried, I pretended everything was okay. I desperately searched for happiness anywhere I could find it. by the time I finally went back to church at the age of 24, I had almost completely destroyed myself.
I think of the story of the Prodigal Son quite often. While I had been away from God, I had committed horrible sins, I had hurt countless people. I was battered, broken, dying. I had taken so long to go to church because I had feared harsh judgment, not just by people, by by God. Instead, I was embraced, forgiven, loved. God was not concerned about the road I had taken to get back to Him - He was just glad I was back.
vs 27 ... You are Christ's body - that's who you are! You must never forget this. Only as you accept your part of that body does your "part" mean anything.
I have loved the "parts of the body" comparison since the very first time I heard it. I have always felt awkward and out of place. I was never pretty or thin enough to be part of the "it" crowd. Never athletic enough for the jocks. Too citified for the countryfolk, too countrified for the cityfolk. I didn't even really fit in with the dorks. I was always just me becoming a Christian and a part of the Body of Christ was huge for me. I belonged. I mattered. I had a place and I had purpose. Now I just have to figure out what it is, which I haven't been able to do yet. Thankfully, God is patient.
1 Corinthians 11
Ok, I realize that this chapter touches on two very very important things, but I have to write the conversation that just took place after reading this chapter.
First of all, regarding marriage. I'm not quite in a position to comment about marriage today, as the past couple of weeks have provided some discussion and frustration both in my house and with some friends. There are some points that I need to ponder before I write about it.
Then, Paul addresses communion, and I don't feel I'm quite qualified to discuss that, either. Paul makes it very clear to not make a mockery of the act, and I suppose I could go through a diatribe of all of the acts we take all together too lightly ... but would you really be patient enough to read all of that? Face it, that's one huge long list.
So, instead of all that, I'm going to go here instead. As I've said before, I'm truly enjoying reading the message version of the Bible, and today was no exception.
vs 34 ... If you're so hungry that you can't wait to be served, go home and get a sandwich. ...
Wait.
Did Paul just tell the Corinthians to go home and eat a sammich? Because that is THE Awesome! Here's the conversation that followed:
Me: Wait, did Paul just tell the Corinthians to go home and eat a sammich????
Hubby: (laughing Um ... yeah, I think he just did!
Me: A sammich! That's awesome!!
Hubby: But what kind of sammich would he have eaten?
Me: Not a ham sammich, that's for sure!
Hubby: Turkey? Did they have turkeys?
Me: I think they had "foul". What about deer? A deer sammich.
Hubby: Or something with just vegetables?
Me: Ohhh, hummus! He was telling them to go home and have a hummus pita!
Red: A hummus pita! With tzatziki! Now THAT is what I'm talking about!!! Wait ... weren't we talking about communion? Because, now I'm hungry...
Amen.
First of all, regarding marriage. I'm not quite in a position to comment about marriage today, as the past couple of weeks have provided some discussion and frustration both in my house and with some friends. There are some points that I need to ponder before I write about it.
Then, Paul addresses communion, and I don't feel I'm quite qualified to discuss that, either. Paul makes it very clear to not make a mockery of the act, and I suppose I could go through a diatribe of all of the acts we take all together too lightly ... but would you really be patient enough to read all of that? Face it, that's one huge long list.
So, instead of all that, I'm going to go here instead. As I've said before, I'm truly enjoying reading the message version of the Bible, and today was no exception.
vs 34 ... If you're so hungry that you can't wait to be served, go home and get a sandwich. ...
Wait.
Did Paul just tell the Corinthians to go home and eat a sammich? Because that is THE Awesome! Here's the conversation that followed:
Me: Wait, did Paul just tell the Corinthians to go home and eat a sammich????
Hubby: (laughing Um ... yeah, I think he just did!
Me: A sammich! That's awesome!!
Hubby: But what kind of sammich would he have eaten?
Me: Not a ham sammich, that's for sure!
Hubby: Turkey? Did they have turkeys?
Me: I think they had "foul". What about deer? A deer sammich.
Hubby: Or something with just vegetables?
Me: Ohhh, hummus! He was telling them to go home and have a hummus pita!
Red: A hummus pita! With tzatziki! Now THAT is what I'm talking about!!! Wait ... weren't we talking about communion? Because, now I'm hungry...
Amen.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Changes around here
Time to change the blog around - I haven't been very attentive to the blog. Mostly because there is such a wide variety of things I want to say. So, from here on out, this will just be my Bible Study, and there will be other places for my insane running commentary.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
1 Corinthians 10
Today's reading is really working on my heart. There are so many inspirational verses in this one chapter, and a lot of really strong teaching. So much is speaking to me ... I'm not even sure where to begin!! At the beginning, as usual, I suppose.
vs 5-6 ... But just experiencing God's wonder and grace didn't seem to mean much - most of them were defeated by temptation during the hard times in the desert, and God was not pleased. The same thing could happen to us. We must be on guard so that we never get caught up in wanting our own way as they did.
It never ceases to amaze me just how easy it is every single day to give in to temptation. God gives us never-ending grace and mercy, is unwavering faith so much to ask for? Apparently. "we must be on guard" ... it sounds so easy. How do we achieve that? It seems trite to say prayer, but it is the truth. It seems silly to say devotion, worship, praise, but that doesn't mean those aren't the answer.
When we build up the Word of God around us and fortify ourselves with the knowledge that He has created us for His Glory, we will become stronger. Yes, there are bad days. Yes, there are days when we want to run and hide and put our head under our pillows. But what are those days compared to the ones where we feel His presence around us, see the evidence of His love, know that His protection keeps our families safe.
vs 11 ... These are all warning markers - danger! - in our history books, written down so that we don't repeat their mistakes. Our positions in the story are parallel - they are at the beginning, we at the end - and we are just as capable of messing it up as they were.
And we, in the fall of 2010, are just as capable of messing it up as Paul and the Corinthians ... almost 2000 years ago.
vs 13 ... No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down, he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it.
These are words we have always heard. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger ... God will never give you more than you can take. Have you ever questioned that? I have. I DO. On a DAILY basis! There have been so many times in the past year when I just know that God has me confused with someone else. Someone who is stronger, wiser, more prayerful ... holier? Because surely I can't handle this anymore. Surely I am not strong enough to keep conquering everything that we keep getting dealt.
But I am stronger today than I was last week. I was stronger last week than I was last year. And I was certainly stronger last year than I was 10 years ago. I can only pray to God above that I am stronger tomorrow than I am today, because today is just not looking so good.
vs 5-6 ... But just experiencing God's wonder and grace didn't seem to mean much - most of them were defeated by temptation during the hard times in the desert, and God was not pleased. The same thing could happen to us. We must be on guard so that we never get caught up in wanting our own way as they did.
It never ceases to amaze me just how easy it is every single day to give in to temptation. God gives us never-ending grace and mercy, is unwavering faith so much to ask for? Apparently. "we must be on guard" ... it sounds so easy. How do we achieve that? It seems trite to say prayer, but it is the truth. It seems silly to say devotion, worship, praise, but that doesn't mean those aren't the answer.
When we build up the Word of God around us and fortify ourselves with the knowledge that He has created us for His Glory, we will become stronger. Yes, there are bad days. Yes, there are days when we want to run and hide and put our head under our pillows. But what are those days compared to the ones where we feel His presence around us, see the evidence of His love, know that His protection keeps our families safe.
vs 11 ... These are all warning markers - danger! - in our history books, written down so that we don't repeat their mistakes. Our positions in the story are parallel - they are at the beginning, we at the end - and we are just as capable of messing it up as they were.
And we, in the fall of 2010, are just as capable of messing it up as Paul and the Corinthians ... almost 2000 years ago.
vs 13 ... No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down, he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it.
These are words we have always heard. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger ... God will never give you more than you can take. Have you ever questioned that? I have. I DO. On a DAILY basis! There have been so many times in the past year when I just know that God has me confused with someone else. Someone who is stronger, wiser, more prayerful ... holier? Because surely I can't handle this anymore. Surely I am not strong enough to keep conquering everything that we keep getting dealt.
But I am stronger today than I was last week. I was stronger last week than I was last year. And I was certainly stronger last year than I was 10 years ago. I can only pray to God above that I am stronger tomorrow than I am today, because today is just not looking so good.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
1 Corinthians 9
vs 19-22 ... Even though I am free of the demands and expectations of everyone, I have voluntarily become a servant to any and all in order to reach a wide range of people: religious, nonreligious, meticulous moralists, loose-living immoralists, the defeated, the demoralized - whoever. I didn't take on their way of life. I kept my bearings in Christ - but I entered their world and tried to experience things from their point of view. I've become just about every sort of servant there is in my attempts to lead those I meet into a God-saved life.
So very refreshing! Can you imagine Paul today? Just think of all the people he would be working with, hanging out with, ministering to! Homeless people, cancer patients, kids with autism, drug addicts, gamblers, porn addicts, alcoholics, HIV/AIDS patients, war heroes, congressmen. He'd have a fantasy football team and go to Superbowl parties. He'd hang out with the teens discussing the realism of cliques in High School Musical. He'd golf with the pastors and doctors. He'd set up play groups and mentors for teen moms.
Because really? How are any of these people different than the people back then? Ok, maybe excluding HSM and football. But didn't they have the same drama and stereotypes that we do now? 2000 years haven't really changed anything at all.
I think of the WWJD bracelets/bumper stickers/posters people used to display so proudly. But, really, Jesus was our teacher. Paul ... Paul was our missionary. He was the one that taught us how to put the words of Christ into action. Now, before we get all jumpy, I'm not putting Paul up on the same pedestal as Jesus - not by ANY means. I am very much saying that the next time we see a guy on the corner with a "Will work for food" sign ... think about what Paul would have done with him. He wouldn't have turned a blind eye and ignored him, but he would have found him help - a job, some food, anything.
We are all built to minister to a group. We all have experiences that we are meant to share in order to help someone else. Don't waste those - help someone you know God has intended for you. Be a Paul.
So very refreshing! Can you imagine Paul today? Just think of all the people he would be working with, hanging out with, ministering to! Homeless people, cancer patients, kids with autism, drug addicts, gamblers, porn addicts, alcoholics, HIV/AIDS patients, war heroes, congressmen. He'd have a fantasy football team and go to Superbowl parties. He'd hang out with the teens discussing the realism of cliques in High School Musical. He'd golf with the pastors and doctors. He'd set up play groups and mentors for teen moms.
Because really? How are any of these people different than the people back then? Ok, maybe excluding HSM and football. But didn't they have the same drama and stereotypes that we do now? 2000 years haven't really changed anything at all.
I think of the WWJD bracelets/bumper stickers/posters people used to display so proudly. But, really, Jesus was our teacher. Paul ... Paul was our missionary. He was the one that taught us how to put the words of Christ into action. Now, before we get all jumpy, I'm not putting Paul up on the same pedestal as Jesus - not by ANY means. I am very much saying that the next time we see a guy on the corner with a "Will work for food" sign ... think about what Paul would have done with him. He wouldn't have turned a blind eye and ignored him, but he would have found him help - a job, some food, anything.
We are all built to minister to a group. We all have experiences that we are meant to share in order to help someone else. Don't waste those - help someone you know God has intended for you. Be a Paul.
1 Corinthians 8
vs 9 ... But God does care when you use your freedom carelessly in a way that leads a fellow believer still vulnerable to those old associations to be thrown off track.
The appearance of evil. A daunting subject.
*deep sigh* Ok ... here goes.
When Hubby and I first started dating, I was in a very tense living arrangement. Following my divorce, I wasn't able to manage the financial aspects of our house, and lost the lease on it. The children moved in with The Ex, and I moved in with a friend of mine. It was very difficult living with her ... she was an interesting character. But a roof is a roof. Not long after Hubby and I got engaged, I reached a point when I could no longer tolerate living there. Hubby and I began looking for what would be "our" first apartment, but only I would be living there in the beginning. We found the cutest little place, fell in love, and I moved in.
Only 5 minutes later, The Ex got into some major legal issues and went to jail, the two kids (now what we collectively call The Bigs, tho at the time they were The Onlys) moved in with me. I needed a lot of help right there at the beginning, and Hubby was awesome! He would often stay late at night, and sometimes even all night.
A friend of ours stepped in as soon as she heard this was going on and got very very angry with us. She didn't ask if we were "behaving" - said she didn't even care. It didn't matter what we were or were not doing ... only that it looked as if we weren't doing right. Simply, can CAN'T control the thoughts of others. They are going to think what they want to, no matter what.
Puts us all in a difficult position, doesn't it? We are called to be Christ-like, but we all know we're not always perfect, all the time. The task of setting a good example for those we are ministering to (or even just anybody standing around and noticing you) is daunting and huge and almost unbearable. Prayer, wise choices, prayer, thinking/planning ahead, prayer, the ability to ask forgiveness of others when you do mess up, and prayer. The only solution I have.
I learned a very valuable lesson that summer. Someone is always watching. Even when no one is around? God still sees me.
The appearance of evil. A daunting subject.
*deep sigh* Ok ... here goes.
When Hubby and I first started dating, I was in a very tense living arrangement. Following my divorce, I wasn't able to manage the financial aspects of our house, and lost the lease on it. The children moved in with The Ex, and I moved in with a friend of mine. It was very difficult living with her ... she was an interesting character. But a roof is a roof. Not long after Hubby and I got engaged, I reached a point when I could no longer tolerate living there. Hubby and I began looking for what would be "our" first apartment, but only I would be living there in the beginning. We found the cutest little place, fell in love, and I moved in.
Only 5 minutes later, The Ex got into some major legal issues and went to jail, the two kids (now what we collectively call The Bigs, tho at the time they were The Onlys) moved in with me. I needed a lot of help right there at the beginning, and Hubby was awesome! He would often stay late at night, and sometimes even all night.
A friend of ours stepped in as soon as she heard this was going on and got very very angry with us. She didn't ask if we were "behaving" - said she didn't even care. It didn't matter what we were or were not doing ... only that it looked as if we weren't doing right. Simply, can CAN'T control the thoughts of others. They are going to think what they want to, no matter what.
Puts us all in a difficult position, doesn't it? We are called to be Christ-like, but we all know we're not always perfect, all the time. The task of setting a good example for those we are ministering to (or even just anybody standing around and noticing you) is daunting and huge and almost unbearable. Prayer, wise choices, prayer, thinking/planning ahead, prayer, the ability to ask forgiveness of others when you do mess up, and prayer. The only solution I have.
I learned a very valuable lesson that summer. Someone is always watching. Even when no one is around? God still sees me.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
1 Corinthians 7
I don't have a lot to say about intimacy between a husband and a wife. I'm at peace with that part of my relationship with my husband and I don't feel the need to really discuss it right now. But, I do want to say something about this verse:
vs 15 ... On the other hand, if the unbelieving spouse walks out, you've got to let him or her go. You don't have to hold on desperately. God has called us to make the best of it, as peacefully as we can.
There was a night a few years ago when, in a drunken rage, my husband pinned me down on the bed and tried to strangle me. For years, we had fought. It had often been violent. But that night ... it was the end for me. With some counseling, and a lot of support from some very close friends and family, I filed for divorce, and left my husband. (He is known as The Ex around these parts of the blogosphere.) But along with that support came a very healthy dose of fellow Christians telling me that I was most certainly going to hell for walking away from him. Those people must not have paid too much attention to this verse.
A word out there to any woman who has undergone any kind of abuse from her husband...
You are a valued Princess of the King of Kings, and Lord of Lords. God created you in and for His Glory. You do not deserve to be used as a punching bag - whether that is physically, mentally, or sexually. Try as hard as you can to get your husband the help he needs. Call everyone you can to help him. But - and this is a really big but - if you have exhausted your resources, and he shows no sign of getting better, and doesn't sign his heart over to God, then it is ok to let him go. It is perfectly acceptable to grow in love on your own and make peace. You are allowed, and you deserve that. But be cautious ... make sure you are getting the emotional and spiritual care that you need through that process.
I did ... and I don't regret any of the choices I made during that time.
vs 15 ... On the other hand, if the unbelieving spouse walks out, you've got to let him or her go. You don't have to hold on desperately. God has called us to make the best of it, as peacefully as we can.
There was a night a few years ago when, in a drunken rage, my husband pinned me down on the bed and tried to strangle me. For years, we had fought. It had often been violent. But that night ... it was the end for me. With some counseling, and a lot of support from some very close friends and family, I filed for divorce, and left my husband. (He is known as The Ex around these parts of the blogosphere.) But along with that support came a very healthy dose of fellow Christians telling me that I was most certainly going to hell for walking away from him. Those people must not have paid too much attention to this verse.
A word out there to any woman who has undergone any kind of abuse from her husband...
You are a valued Princess of the King of Kings, and Lord of Lords. God created you in and for His Glory. You do not deserve to be used as a punching bag - whether that is physically, mentally, or sexually. Try as hard as you can to get your husband the help he needs. Call everyone you can to help him. But - and this is a really big but - if you have exhausted your resources, and he shows no sign of getting better, and doesn't sign his heart over to God, then it is ok to let him go. It is perfectly acceptable to grow in love on your own and make peace. You are allowed, and you deserve that. But be cautious ... make sure you are getting the emotional and spiritual care that you need through that process.
I did ... and I don't regret any of the choices I made during that time.
1 Corinthians 6
vs 12 … Just because something is technically legal doesn’t mean that it’s spiritually appropriate. If I went around doing whatever I thought I could get by with, I’d be a slave to my whims.
I love the law. When I was 4, I told my mom I wanted to be a lawyer. I worked very diligently towards that goal from a very young age. When I was in middle school, I found out I could join the Navy and be an attorney – thank you Tom Cruise!! But then, I found out because I had foot surgery, I wouldn’t be allowed to join any military force. That didn’t deter me from staying on my track to be a lawyer. Until my Senior year of high school, and I went on vacation to the University of Florida and realized that if I went to college right away, I would find myself totally crazed and wild and not actually getting an education. So, I waited a couple of years and ended up going to school to be a paralegal. I haven’t worked in a law firm for a couple of years, and there are days when I truly miss it.
But since I became a Christian, I’ve struggled with knowing what the law says and knowing what God says. Just because it’s legal, doesn’t make it right. But the good news is? If we follow God’s law, we will always be following the laws set forth by man.
I love the law. When I was 4, I told my mom I wanted to be a lawyer. I worked very diligently towards that goal from a very young age. When I was in middle school, I found out I could join the Navy and be an attorney – thank you Tom Cruise!! But then, I found out because I had foot surgery, I wouldn’t be allowed to join any military force. That didn’t deter me from staying on my track to be a lawyer. Until my Senior year of high school, and I went on vacation to the University of Florida and realized that if I went to college right away, I would find myself totally crazed and wild and not actually getting an education. So, I waited a couple of years and ended up going to school to be a paralegal. I haven’t worked in a law firm for a couple of years, and there are days when I truly miss it.
But since I became a Christian, I’ve struggled with knowing what the law says and knowing what God says. Just because it’s legal, doesn’t make it right. But the good news is? If we follow God’s law, we will always be following the laws set forth by man.
1 Corinthians 5
vs 11 … But I am saying that you shouldn’t act as if everything is just fine when a friend who claims to be a Christian is promiscuous or crooked, is flip with God or rude to friends, gets drunk or becomes greedy and predatory. You can’t just go along with this, treating it as acceptable behavior.
When do you get to step in and tell your friend that they are being a total jerk and they need to shape up? Always a tightrope walk.
When do you get to step in and tell your friend that they are being a total jerk and they need to shape up? Always a tightrope walk.
1 Corinthians 4
vs 1 … Don’t imagine us leaders to be something we aren’t. We are servants of Christ, not his masters. We are guides into God’s most sublime secrets, not security guards posted to protect them.
Wouldn’t it be awesome if all church leaders acted this way? As if the word of God wasn’t so high up above our heads that we’re not supposed to even attempt to grab it. My current pastor now has the most amazing knack of taking a verse and breaking it down into the most simple possible manner and then showing us how to teach ourselves to apply it to our lives – which is so much more important than doing it for us. You can give a man a fish or teach him to fish …
vs 3 … It matters very little to me what you think of me, even less where I rank in popular opinion. I don’t even rank myself. Comparisons in these matters are pointless.
This goes back to what we read yesterday. I am NOT important. Not when compared to GOD. Not when compared to what He has done for us and given to us.
For years, I let everyone else’s opinion of me shape me and mold me and twist me into something I couldn’t even recognize anymore. If someone thought I was too loud, I quieted down. If someone thought I was too quiet, I got louder. Too giving, I would be more selfish. Too selfish, I would start giving more. Not good enough, I would always try harder, harder, harder, until I pleased somebody – anybody. After years of struggling to be the perfect person, I gave up. I was never going to be good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, fun enough … why even bother?
Then I became a Christian, and realized that all of those things didn’t matter. Because even when I’m a total screw-up, God still loves me. And to Him, I am good enough, smart enough, pretty enough and fun enough. Because He created me this way. And if God likes me, then I’m pretty sure I can learn to like myself. It was a long battle, but well worth it.
vs 7 … For who do you know that really knows you, knows your heart? And even if they did, is there anything they would discover in you that you could take credit for? Isn’t everything you have and everything you are sheer gifts from God? So what’s the point of all this comparing and competing?
It is so very often to share my thoughts and feelings with you. You may not know me and I may not know any of you, but I am here for you. I want to learn with you, I want to grow with you. I want you to learn and grow with me. We are here in Christ together, so we need to make the most of it. Whether we’re right or wrong … in the good times and the bad.
vs 21 … So how should I prepare to come to you? As a severe disciplinarian who makes you toe the mark? Or as a good friend and counselor who wants to share heart-to-heart with you? You decide.
Wouldn’t it be awesome if all church leaders acted this way? As if the word of God wasn’t so high up above our heads that we’re not supposed to even attempt to grab it. My current pastor now has the most amazing knack of taking a verse and breaking it down into the most simple possible manner and then showing us how to teach ourselves to apply it to our lives – which is so much more important than doing it for us. You can give a man a fish or teach him to fish …
vs 3 … It matters very little to me what you think of me, even less where I rank in popular opinion. I don’t even rank myself. Comparisons in these matters are pointless.
This goes back to what we read yesterday. I am NOT important. Not when compared to GOD. Not when compared to what He has done for us and given to us.
For years, I let everyone else’s opinion of me shape me and mold me and twist me into something I couldn’t even recognize anymore. If someone thought I was too loud, I quieted down. If someone thought I was too quiet, I got louder. Too giving, I would be more selfish. Too selfish, I would start giving more. Not good enough, I would always try harder, harder, harder, until I pleased somebody – anybody. After years of struggling to be the perfect person, I gave up. I was never going to be good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, fun enough … why even bother?
Then I became a Christian, and realized that all of those things didn’t matter. Because even when I’m a total screw-up, God still loves me. And to Him, I am good enough, smart enough, pretty enough and fun enough. Because He created me this way. And if God likes me, then I’m pretty sure I can learn to like myself. It was a long battle, but well worth it.
vs 7 … For who do you know that really knows you, knows your heart? And even if they did, is there anything they would discover in you that you could take credit for? Isn’t everything you have and everything you are sheer gifts from God? So what’s the point of all this comparing and competing?
It is so very often to share my thoughts and feelings with you. You may not know me and I may not know any of you, but I am here for you. I want to learn with you, I want to grow with you. I want you to learn and grow with me. We are here in Christ together, so we need to make the most of it. Whether we’re right or wrong … in the good times and the bad.
vs 21 … So how should I prepare to come to you? As a severe disciplinarian who makes you toe the mark? Or as a good friend and counselor who wants to share heart-to-heart with you? You decide.
1 Corinthians 3
vs 3 … As long as you grab for what makes you feel good or makes you look important, are you really much different than a babe at the breast, content only when everything’s going your way?
It never ceases to amaze me that even after 2000 years, some things NEVER change. We still stop at nothing to make ourselves seem more important than what we are. Life has never been, isn’t now, and will never be about US! It really doesn’t matter that I have a Coach AND a Kate Spade (although, if you know me, you know that I think my purses are really fun and very cute). It doesn’t matter how high up on the corporate ladder I climb. It doesn’t matter what kind of car I drive. None of those things amount to anything in the grand scheme of life. What matters is GOD. What matters is that our amazing and wonderful Father sent his very own son to die for us and take our sins away so that we can live in peace eternally.
vs 23 … and you are privileged to be in union with Christ, who is in union with God.
It never ceases to amaze me that even after 2000 years, some things NEVER change. We still stop at nothing to make ourselves seem more important than what we are. Life has never been, isn’t now, and will never be about US! It really doesn’t matter that I have a Coach AND a Kate Spade (although, if you know me, you know that I think my purses are really fun and very cute). It doesn’t matter how high up on the corporate ladder I climb. It doesn’t matter what kind of car I drive. None of those things amount to anything in the grand scheme of life. What matters is GOD. What matters is that our amazing and wonderful Father sent his very own son to die for us and take our sins away so that we can live in peace eternally.
vs 23 … and you are privileged to be in union with Christ, who is in union with God.
1 Corinthians 2
vs … 3 I was unsure of how to go about this, and felt totally inadequate – I was scared to death, if you want the truth of it…
Paul felt inadequate? Oh, thank heavens! I’m not the only one! Because, I’ll be honest, speaking to others about the joy I have found in Christ is rather difficult.
I have a friend who is a street preacher and teaches Bible classes to men at the local jail. He blows my mind! I have enough difficulty telling strangers and acquaintances that I will pray for them. To have that level of boldness is so overwhelming to me! I can’t even begin to imagine it.
Paul was like my friend speaking boldly and without hesitation. But he tells us he was scared. One of the reasons I do my study on my blog is because I don’t feel that I am qualified or educated enough to speak to large amounts of people. The only thing I have ever felt comfortable doing is sharing my feelings about what I’m reading, the impact God’s word has on my heart and my mind – and on my life.
vs 7… God’s wisdom is something mysterious that goes deep into the interior of his purposes. You don’t find it lying around on the surface. It’s not the latest message, but more like the oldest – what God determined as the way to bring out his best in us, long before we ever arrived on the scene.
Paul felt inadequate? Oh, thank heavens! I’m not the only one! Because, I’ll be honest, speaking to others about the joy I have found in Christ is rather difficult.
I have a friend who is a street preacher and teaches Bible classes to men at the local jail. He blows my mind! I have enough difficulty telling strangers and acquaintances that I will pray for them. To have that level of boldness is so overwhelming to me! I can’t even begin to imagine it.
Paul was like my friend speaking boldly and without hesitation. But he tells us he was scared. One of the reasons I do my study on my blog is because I don’t feel that I am qualified or educated enough to speak to large amounts of people. The only thing I have ever felt comfortable doing is sharing my feelings about what I’m reading, the impact God’s word has on my heart and my mind – and on my life.
vs 7… God’s wisdom is something mysterious that goes deep into the interior of his purposes. You don’t find it lying around on the surface. It’s not the latest message, but more like the oldest – what God determined as the way to bring out his best in us, long before we ever arrived on the scene.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
1 Corinthians 1
My pastor is a church planter. He has been at our church for only a few years, and he has done some really amazing things with the community there. But to come here, he had to leave a church that he had planted and pastored at for more than twenty years. I know there have been times when he's gone back to visit, and he keeps in very close contact with the leaders and members there. Pastor is a kind and gentle man, and I have to wonder what his reaction would be if he found out that the church he raised had resorted to the idiocy we see in the Church at Corinth. I bet he would say something very similar to Paul. He would be all, "I love you guys and miss you, but have you totally lost your minds?!?"
vs 2 ... I send this letter to you in God's church at Corinth, believers cleaned up by Jesus and set apart for a God-filled life. I include in my greeting all who call out to Jesus, wherever they live. He's their Master as well as ours!
I like this verse for two reasons. First, I love knowing that Jesus himself cleaned up the believers. It can sometimes be easy for us to get confuses - we are removed by 2000 years! But they were in his presence - they have no excuse (except imperfect humanity) for getting lost in the Word! Second, I love that Paul addresses the letter to "all who call out to Jesus", because he was the Great Equalizer. He came for ALL Jews and gentiles, Hebrews, Greeks and Romans. He came for all of us.
vs 7 ... Just think - you don't need a thing, you've got it all! All God's gifts are right in front of you as you wait expectantly for our Master Jesus to arrive on the scene for the Finale.
I know God has heard my desperate cry to find a way out of our living situation. He has been sneaking me little reminders that all will be well, that He has His own timing and He will take care of me. This verse was today's reminder.
vs 10 ... I realize that this is probably not the desired reaction, but everytime I read this verse, I laugh. I love how, as humans, we try and butter someone up before hitting them with bad news. We all do it on some level or another, we all feel the need to soften the blow. I just find it incredibly reassuring that we share the same behaviors with the very same people that we name churches after. They were humans, too, and I think it is sometimes difficult for us to remember that.
vs 13 ... I ask you, "Has the Messiah been chopped up in little pieces so we can each have a relic all our own?" ...
This is a concept that I struggle with even now. I donNt understand the differences between Methodists and Presbyterians and Baptists ... why must one group look down in judgement upon another? Isn't this exactly what we're NOT supposed to do? I don't look at the "kind" of church I'm going to. I only care that the nursery is clean and well supervised and the teaching is direct from God's word.
vs 26 ... For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth.
vs 27 ... But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong;
vs 28 ... God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are,
vs 29 ... so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.
vs 30 ... And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption,
vs 31 ... so that, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."
I am not the best and I am not the brightest. I didn't come from an influential family. Yet, God chose me anyway. For that, I shall blow His horn - and not mine - every single day.
vs 2 ... I send this letter to you in God's church at Corinth, believers cleaned up by Jesus and set apart for a God-filled life. I include in my greeting all who call out to Jesus, wherever they live. He's their Master as well as ours!
I like this verse for two reasons. First, I love knowing that Jesus himself cleaned up the believers. It can sometimes be easy for us to get confuses - we are removed by 2000 years! But they were in his presence - they have no excuse (except imperfect humanity) for getting lost in the Word! Second, I love that Paul addresses the letter to "all who call out to Jesus", because he was the Great Equalizer. He came for ALL Jews and gentiles, Hebrews, Greeks and Romans. He came for all of us.
vs 7 ... Just think - you don't need a thing, you've got it all! All God's gifts are right in front of you as you wait expectantly for our Master Jesus to arrive on the scene for the Finale.
I know God has heard my desperate cry to find a way out of our living situation. He has been sneaking me little reminders that all will be well, that He has His own timing and He will take care of me. This verse was today's reminder.
vs 10 ... I realize that this is probably not the desired reaction, but everytime I read this verse, I laugh. I love how, as humans, we try and butter someone up before hitting them with bad news. We all do it on some level or another, we all feel the need to soften the blow. I just find it incredibly reassuring that we share the same behaviors with the very same people that we name churches after. They were humans, too, and I think it is sometimes difficult for us to remember that.
vs 13 ... I ask you, "Has the Messiah been chopped up in little pieces so we can each have a relic all our own?" ...
This is a concept that I struggle with even now. I donNt understand the differences between Methodists and Presbyterians and Baptists ... why must one group look down in judgement upon another? Isn't this exactly what we're NOT supposed to do? I don't look at the "kind" of church I'm going to. I only care that the nursery is clean and well supervised and the teaching is direct from God's word.
vs 26 ... For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth.
vs 27 ... But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong;
vs 28 ... God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are,
vs 29 ... so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.
vs 30 ... And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption,
vs 31 ... so that, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."
I am not the best and I am not the brightest. I didn't come from an influential family. Yet, God chose me anyway. For that, I shall blow His horn - and not mine - every single day.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
The Message
I've mentioned that I have been doing my reading from The Message version of the Bible. Now, I'm kind of a literature traditionalist, so this is really stepping out of the box for me. My dad still reads to me and my kids from the King James. (I'm also one of those freaks that can read Shakespeare as easily as a grocery store circular... but I digress.)
We started attending our church about a year and a half ago, and they use the English Standard Version. I fell in love with it at once and have been using it exclusively. ESV is able to capture the simple meaning of the language - much like the NIV - but keep the formality I loved hearing from the KJV while growing up. Also, it is a more literal translation of the original texts.
So why did I choose to do some of my readings from The Message? A dear friend of mine, who knows me better than I'm really comfortable with, suggested it. She knows how hectic my schedule is, and she knew I needed a change.
I'm pretty sure I've covered this before, but just to be clear... Since my job has gone to 40+ hours per week, and I still have mountains of other things I have to accomplish in my life, my Bible reading was taking a HUGE hit. To be brutally honest, it had been limited to catching whatever verses popped up on Facebook or in emails. Yeah, I'm a loser ... I'm at one with that. I will say (with however little dignity I can scrape together here) that I have a lot of friends that post a lot of scripture and send out entire chapter studies in emails. I'm not a total heathen ... just a partial heathen. Yeah, whatever, I know.
We are also a one-car family right now and I take the bus to work. Two whole hours of study time? Absolutely! The Message is a much easier read amid the distractions of the bus ... and before my coffee has a chance to jumpstart my brain.
Now, starting to read Paul, some of those earlier doubts I had about his intentions are already starting to fade. I am able to understand him more clearly and I feel more confident in his feelings and passions. As if Paul needed MY acceptance. ;)
We started attending our church about a year and a half ago, and they use the English Standard Version. I fell in love with it at once and have been using it exclusively. ESV is able to capture the simple meaning of the language - much like the NIV - but keep the formality I loved hearing from the KJV while growing up. Also, it is a more literal translation of the original texts.
So why did I choose to do some of my readings from The Message? A dear friend of mine, who knows me better than I'm really comfortable with, suggested it. She knows how hectic my schedule is, and she knew I needed a change.
I'm pretty sure I've covered this before, but just to be clear... Since my job has gone to 40+ hours per week, and I still have mountains of other things I have to accomplish in my life, my Bible reading was taking a HUGE hit. To be brutally honest, it had been limited to catching whatever verses popped up on Facebook or in emails. Yeah, I'm a loser ... I'm at one with that. I will say (with however little dignity I can scrape together here) that I have a lot of friends that post a lot of scripture and send out entire chapter studies in emails. I'm not a total heathen ... just a partial heathen. Yeah, whatever, I know.
We are also a one-car family right now and I take the bus to work. Two whole hours of study time? Absolutely! The Message is a much easier read amid the distractions of the bus ... and before my coffee has a chance to jumpstart my brain.
Now, starting to read Paul, some of those earlier doubts I had about his intentions are already starting to fade. I am able to understand him more clearly and I feel more confident in his feelings and passions. As if Paul needed MY acceptance. ;)
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Corinthians
I have always had mixed feelings about Paul. I know, that borders on blasphemy for some, but I am all about the honest here in my corner.
Over the years, I have heard so many different opinions about his writing that, honestly, I'm a little lost. Did he really hate women, or was he just passionate about marital roles? (and since he wasn't married, does he get a vote anyway?) Did he ever let go of all his teachings, or did he truly let Christ speak to him? Was he bitter or logical? Elitist or servant?
While I have read his letters to the Corinthians dozens of times, I think this time I will make more of an effort to let God really speak to me so that I can finally see what Paul is like.
Over the years, I have heard so many different opinions about his writing that, honestly, I'm a little lost. Did he really hate women, or was he just passionate about marital roles? (and since he wasn't married, does he get a vote anyway?) Did he ever let go of all his teachings, or did he truly let Christ speak to him? Was he bitter or logical? Elitist or servant?
While I have read his letters to the Corinthians dozens of times, I think this time I will make more of an effort to let God really speak to me so that I can finally see what Paul is like.
Revelation - The End?
I shared a lot about what God showed me during these past couple of weeks, but there is just no way that I can share everything. I bately have time to keep up with my writing NOW, to add everything else would be way too impossible - even for a Supermom (ha!).
But I will say that God has really smacked me in the back of the head and made me realize how much I'm just not seeing in my life right now - both good and bad. I am truly blessed to have family that loves me, friends that keep me going - and laughing - when I don't have the strength to do it myself, opportunities to help others, and a stable job in an injured economy. But I have also been shown that my marriage is severely compromised and needs major intervention. Red is on a path of self-destruction and I don't know how to stop it. I miss The Princess with my very being and I'm no closer to getting her back now than I was a year ago.
I needed a wake-up call. But now that I've received it, what am I going to do with it?
But I will say that God has really smacked me in the back of the head and made me realize how much I'm just not seeing in my life right now - both good and bad. I am truly blessed to have family that loves me, friends that keep me going - and laughing - when I don't have the strength to do it myself, opportunities to help others, and a stable job in an injured economy. But I have also been shown that my marriage is severely compromised and needs major intervention. Red is on a path of self-destruction and I don't know how to stop it. I miss The Princess with my very being and I'm no closer to getting her back now than I was a year ago.
I needed a wake-up call. But now that I've received it, what am I going to do with it?
Revelation 22
v 20 ... He who testifies to all these things says it again: "I'm on my way! I'll be there soon!" Yes! Come, Master Jesus!
v 21 ... The Grace of the Master Jesus be with all of you. Oh, Yes!
Oh, Yes! Amen! Oh, Yes! Thank You, Christ Jesus for Your glory and salvation! Glory to God in the Highest! I awaken and open my eyes with renewed sense of wonder and adoration; may I never fall asleep again! Thank You, for Your mercy and love.
Oh, Yes!
v 21 ... The Grace of the Master Jesus be with all of you. Oh, Yes!
Oh, Yes! Amen! Oh, Yes! Thank You, Christ Jesus for Your glory and salvation! Glory to God in the Highest! I awaken and open my eyes with renewed sense of wonder and adoration; may I never fall asleep again! Thank You, for Your mercy and love.
Oh, Yes!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Revelation 21
I have been waiting for 20 chapters to read about the glory and splendor in today's reading. Finally! The balm I have been waiting for to heal the fears I have incurred the past couple of weeks! This is what being a child of God really means. This is what we have to gain when we turn our backs on sin!
vs 3 ... I heard a voice thunder from the Throne: "Look! Look! God has moved into the neighborhood, making his home with men and women! They're his people, he's their God.
vs 4 ... He'll wipe every tear from their eyes. Death is gone for good - tears gone, crying gone, pain gone - all the first order of things gone.
vs 6 ... Then he said, "It's happened. I'm A to Z. I'm the Beginning, I'm the Conclusion. From Water-of-Life Well I give freely to the thirsty.
vs 7 ... Conquerers inherit all this. I'll be God to them, they'll be sons and daughters to me.
Then the description of the New Jarusalem starts ... and there is just too much - it is too overwhelming! Streets paved with gold and the pearly gates are only the beginning.
vs 23 ... The City doesn't need sun or moon for light. God's Glory is its light, the Lamb its lamp!
An eternity basking in the Light of the Holy God, thanking Him for making me, praising Him for loving me ... despite the fact that I have been so preoccupied with loving ME!
Yes ... I will say that is certainly worth turning my back on sin.
vs 3 ... I heard a voice thunder from the Throne: "Look! Look! God has moved into the neighborhood, making his home with men and women! They're his people, he's their God.
vs 4 ... He'll wipe every tear from their eyes. Death is gone for good - tears gone, crying gone, pain gone - all the first order of things gone.
vs 6 ... Then he said, "It's happened. I'm A to Z. I'm the Beginning, I'm the Conclusion. From Water-of-Life Well I give freely to the thirsty.
vs 7 ... Conquerers inherit all this. I'll be God to them, they'll be sons and daughters to me.
Then the description of the New Jarusalem starts ... and there is just too much - it is too overwhelming! Streets paved with gold and the pearly gates are only the beginning.
vs 23 ... The City doesn't need sun or moon for light. God's Glory is its light, the Lamb its lamp!
An eternity basking in the Light of the Holy God, thanking Him for making me, praising Him for loving me ... despite the fact that I have been so preoccupied with loving ME!
Yes ... I will say that is certainly worth turning my back on sin.
Revelation 20
vs 12 ... And there I saw all the dead, great and small, standing there - before the Throne! And books were opened. Then another book was opened: the Book of Life. The dead were judged by what was written in the books, by the way they had lived.
vs 15 ... Anyone whose name was not found inscribed in the Book of Life was hurled into Lake Fire.
Lake Fire. Hell. Eternal damnation. Forever in darkness, away from the Light of God. When I stand before my God in judgement, what will he say of me? I do not think I am worthy. I do not feel as if I am living up to the excellence I know He wants from me. During this entire study, that is what I keep struggling with and what I keep coming back to. I am not doing enough to live a glorious life for Christ.
Okay, maybe I'm being a little too hard on myself. But I don't know how to glance inward and see more successes than I do failures. I am spending more time in The Word now than I ever have before, but my prayer routine has gone off kilter. I've been working with Fluffyhead Diva with her Old Testament stories at church, but we aren't doing any family study right now.
(Sidebar: This is another huge frustration for me because I firmly believe that it is Hubby's ordained duty to lead our family in worship. He hasn't been and now we're at a standoff. Do I pick up and try to do something anyway? Or do I just sit here and pray for his heart to change? Ugh)
I am attempting a closer walk with Christ, but I have many trip-ups and set-backs and I'm getting sooo very frustrated. Sweet Messiah, if only you would be more clear with me and point out what you want me to do. Above anyone else, you know how stubborn my heart is and how stupid I can be! Be clear with me. Be precise.
Somewhere, there has got to be a Google navigation system for God's Word to get to my brain.
vs 15 ... Anyone whose name was not found inscribed in the Book of Life was hurled into Lake Fire.
Lake Fire. Hell. Eternal damnation. Forever in darkness, away from the Light of God. When I stand before my God in judgement, what will he say of me? I do not think I am worthy. I do not feel as if I am living up to the excellence I know He wants from me. During this entire study, that is what I keep struggling with and what I keep coming back to. I am not doing enough to live a glorious life for Christ.
Okay, maybe I'm being a little too hard on myself. But I don't know how to glance inward and see more successes than I do failures. I am spending more time in The Word now than I ever have before, but my prayer routine has gone off kilter. I've been working with Fluffyhead Diva with her Old Testament stories at church, but we aren't doing any family study right now.
(Sidebar: This is another huge frustration for me because I firmly believe that it is Hubby's ordained duty to lead our family in worship. He hasn't been and now we're at a standoff. Do I pick up and try to do something anyway? Or do I just sit here and pray for his heart to change? Ugh)
I am attempting a closer walk with Christ, but I have many trip-ups and set-backs and I'm getting sooo very frustrated. Sweet Messiah, if only you would be more clear with me and point out what you want me to do. Above anyone else, you know how stubborn my heart is and how stupid I can be! Be clear with me. Be precise.
Somewhere, there has got to be a Google navigation system for God's Word to get to my brain.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Revelation 19
vs 21 ... The rest were killed by the sword of the One on the horse, the sword that comes from his mouth. All the birds held a feast on their flesh.
I have said this before and this morning I am moved to say it yet again. I just don't get it. It is inconceivable to me that we can stay so mired down in our own stupidity and our own misery! Why do we make it so difficult for Christ's light to shine into our hearts? What is so delectable in our pathetic little worlds that we must choose them over the immense power and love of our Creator and Savior??? There was NOTHING that I had then that can compare to what I have now!! How do I show them that? How do I remind myself of that every single day?
I have said this before and this morning I am moved to say it yet again. I just don't get it. It is inconceivable to me that we can stay so mired down in our own stupidity and our own misery! Why do we make it so difficult for Christ's light to shine into our hearts? What is so delectable in our pathetic little worlds that we must choose them over the immense power and love of our Creator and Savior??? There was NOTHING that I had then that can compare to what I have now!! How do I show them that? How do I remind myself of that every single day?
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Revelation 18
vs 14 ... Everything you've lived for, gone! All delicate and delectable luxury, lost! Not a scrap, not a thread to be found!
We are consumed by the love of things. How often do we rejoice over these bits of plastic, leather and machinery? We measure our successes by how much STUFF we have. I have learned a lot about my STUFF this past year: None of it means a thing. When you strip away everything you've got, you are able to see what really matters.
For the past year, we have lived in extremely humble surroundings. We are part of the ever-growing population of the “semi-homeless”. Hubby, Red, Fluffyhead Diva, Sir Smiley and I are all in one very small motel room. The Princess lives with her father because of our living situation. So many of the standards we have built for ourselves over the years have been redefined over the past year:
Consideration: Then – No longer the thought process of “Now mad will Mom get if I do this to my sibling?” Now – I need to ask who else needs to use the only bathroom if I think I’m going to be in there longer than 10 minutes.
Kindness: Then – Going out of my way to do something nice for someone else. Now – Taking care of my own belongings so someone else doesn’t have to.
Time-out: Then – Stomping off to our rooms and slamming the door to calm down enough to deal with the rest of our loved ones. Now – Sitting quietly with clenched teeth and eyes squeezed shut, praying you aren’t overwhelmed with the need to smack someone.
Neatness: Then – Keeping everything out of the living room and hoping Mom doesn’t look under our beds. Now – The knowledge that one book, one ball and a hair bow in the middle of the floor constitutes as messy clutter and is in everyone’s way.
Cooking: Then – Homemade bread, three-course meals, a pantry full of machines that can do anything, and the ability for all of us to chip in and help. Now – I wonder if there is a possibility to make THAT in the crock pot/electric skillet/microwave? Do you think I can stop by Jane’s house to make a batch of muffins? I don’t care if you have to go to the bathroom, if you want a salad tonight, you need to get out of my way.
There have been times in this past year where I have stood outside our front door, hand on the knob and seized with panic and dread. I can’t stand another minute of it! One more day and I’m going to go stark.raving.mad. But I know that we have all learned a lot, too. Don’t take anything for granted, rely on each other, and patience is more than a virtue – it’s a way of life. Our family has to have God FIRST before anything else. Our faith hasn’t just been a warm fuzzy let’s all go to church together and have family reading time … our foundation in God has been a necessary means of survival.
We have all had a change in perspective, and I am so grateful for it! Don’t get me wrong, I desperately desire my own bed in my own room with the ability to close the door and change my clothes in peace. But now I don’t envision the bed covered with the most luxurious sheets and down comforters. The prayers I will say next to it, the books on the nightstand beside it, the meaningful conversations with Hubby in it … those luxuries are more exquisite and decadent then Egyptian cotton will ever be.
We are consumed by the love of things. How often do we rejoice over these bits of plastic, leather and machinery? We measure our successes by how much STUFF we have. I have learned a lot about my STUFF this past year: None of it means a thing. When you strip away everything you've got, you are able to see what really matters.
For the past year, we have lived in extremely humble surroundings. We are part of the ever-growing population of the “semi-homeless”. Hubby, Red, Fluffyhead Diva, Sir Smiley and I are all in one very small motel room. The Princess lives with her father because of our living situation. So many of the standards we have built for ourselves over the years have been redefined over the past year:
Consideration: Then – No longer the thought process of “Now mad will Mom get if I do this to my sibling?” Now – I need to ask who else needs to use the only bathroom if I think I’m going to be in there longer than 10 minutes.
Kindness: Then – Going out of my way to do something nice for someone else. Now – Taking care of my own belongings so someone else doesn’t have to.
Time-out: Then – Stomping off to our rooms and slamming the door to calm down enough to deal with the rest of our loved ones. Now – Sitting quietly with clenched teeth and eyes squeezed shut, praying you aren’t overwhelmed with the need to smack someone.
Neatness: Then – Keeping everything out of the living room and hoping Mom doesn’t look under our beds. Now – The knowledge that one book, one ball and a hair bow in the middle of the floor constitutes as messy clutter and is in everyone’s way.
Cooking: Then – Homemade bread, three-course meals, a pantry full of machines that can do anything, and the ability for all of us to chip in and help. Now – I wonder if there is a possibility to make THAT in the crock pot/electric skillet/microwave? Do you think I can stop by Jane’s house to make a batch of muffins? I don’t care if you have to go to the bathroom, if you want a salad tonight, you need to get out of my way.
There have been times in this past year where I have stood outside our front door, hand on the knob and seized with panic and dread. I can’t stand another minute of it! One more day and I’m going to go stark.raving.mad. But I know that we have all learned a lot, too. Don’t take anything for granted, rely on each other, and patience is more than a virtue – it’s a way of life. Our family has to have God FIRST before anything else. Our faith hasn’t just been a warm fuzzy let’s all go to church together and have family reading time … our foundation in God has been a necessary means of survival.
We have all had a change in perspective, and I am so grateful for it! Don’t get me wrong, I desperately desire my own bed in my own room with the ability to close the door and change my clothes in peace. But now I don’t envision the bed covered with the most luxurious sheets and down comforters. The prayers I will say next to it, the books on the nightstand beside it, the meaningful conversations with Hubby in it … those luxuries are more exquisite and decadent then Egyptian cotton will ever be.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Revelation 17
I have sat here with pen to paper for quite some time, just letting today's reading wash over me and sink in. I'm quite stunned and speechless. The longer I sit here, the more confused and lost I become. For the first time since starting Revelation, I'm going to have to say "I have no idea." Maybe after a little more thought and prayer - and some guided research - I can figure this out.
Revelation 16
Still pondering over discipline and disobedience, this verse strikes a cord in me today:
vs 9 ... Burned and blistered, they cursed God's Name, the God behind these desasters. They refused to repent refused to honor God.
They refused? REALLY?!?!? There is no granite more dense than the hardness of their hearts. Boils, burns darkness, waters of blood, demons ... and still they curse our Holy Creator God. His punishment IS just and deserved, no matter how hard it is to swallow.
vs 9 ... Burned and blistered, they cursed God's Name, the God behind these desasters. They refused to repent refused to honor God.
They refused? REALLY?!?!? There is no granite more dense than the hardness of their hearts. Boils, burns darkness, waters of blood, demons ... and still they curse our Holy Creator God. His punishment IS just and deserved, no matter how hard it is to swallow.
Revelation 15
Still shaking from yesterday's reading. I had hoped to open my Bible this morning and find a soothing balm. No such luck. In today's short passage, we see seven angels coming to pour out the seven disasters, overflowing with God's wrath.
The saved are singing the Song of Moses - Mighty your acts and marvelous O God - and that is true ... but my heart continues to break for those who will perish in His wrath. As a parent, I fully understand that you must dole out a consequence for failure to obey. But it is NEVER easy. We are commanded to obey our Father by loving Him. From the outside looking in, that sounds so backwards - I know it took me forever to understand it. it wasn't until I was able to comprehend the joy. I feel with Christ's love in my heart that I finally understood. Obedience is easy when you love the one you obey...
I've been thinking a lot about how I am disciplining Red. Am I showing him enough love as well? Thank you God for opening my eyes in this way!
The saved are singing the Song of Moses - Mighty your acts and marvelous O God - and that is true ... but my heart continues to break for those who will perish in His wrath. As a parent, I fully understand that you must dole out a consequence for failure to obey. But it is NEVER easy. We are commanded to obey our Father by loving Him. From the outside looking in, that sounds so backwards - I know it took me forever to understand it. it wasn't until I was able to comprehend the joy. I feel with Christ's love in my heart that I finally understood. Obedience is easy when you love the one you obey...
I've been thinking a lot about how I am disciplining Red. Am I showing him enough love as well? Thank you God for opening my eyes in this way!
Revelation 14
I begin today not really knowing how to feel or what to say. I close my eyes and I am overwhelmed by the thoughts of things to come. I worry about my children, grandchildren, and the generations to come. How many of them are going to turn their backs on God and be among the number to suffer. Are they going to be among the 144,000 learning the songs of praise and worship? Or will they be trapped in the winepress of God's wrath? It is too much for me to even think of ... I want to scream "Turn now! Soften your heart towards God! You know not what you do!!"
My heart is breaking today...
My heart is breaking today...
Revelation 13
There is just no gentle way to enter into today's reading. I'm still shaken from yesterday and I opened up today's passage to see that not only is John still talking about the Dragon, today another level of destruction is revealed to us. Again, I have to express my shock that everyday, people read this and don't fear the future. I wonder how many times I glanced over these words and didn't care.
During this time of Hell on Earth, people are going to be forced to worship a monster, a puppet of Satan! People won't even be allowed to buy food unless they are wearing the mark of the beast. I don't even know how to imagine that. How hurtful this must be to God, knowing that we are going to endure so much pain, simply because we refuse to admit that He created us.
During this time of Hell on Earth, people are going to be forced to worship a monster, a puppet of Satan! People won't even be allowed to buy food unless they are wearing the mark of the beast. I don't even know how to imagine that. How hurtful this must be to God, knowing that we are going to endure so much pain, simply because we refuse to admit that He created us.
Revelation 12
I am, by no means, of any definition of the word, a Supermom. Yes, I work a full-time job, homeschool, volunteer with Scouts and help out in children's church. Many of my friends along the way ahve told me how awesome and amazing I am. Take a second glance, a closer look, and then tell me what you see.
- Dark circle under my eyes. I only average six hours of sleep a night - if that. I leave home early in the morning and get home late at night, then after throwing the kids in bed with quick kisses, I try to wade my way through the huge stack of papers to grade, scout camping trips to plan, files to organize, research to do, and books to read. Oh, and let's not forget trying to spend time with Hubby, too.
- The things I miss. Sir Smiley's first real steps, walking Fluffyhead Diva to school, Red's battle with incoming adolescence, and everything from Princess. I'm just not there. And not only things for my kids. In the last couple of months, I've missed two birthday parties, a baby shower, a child birth, a caving expedition, a wedding, three moving days, and countless field trips with our homeschool group. Even when I am at home, I'm doing one of the zillion things it's going to take to get caught up and back on schedule. (Schedule: that elusive creature that is supposed to allow me to do everything that must get done and still have time to play with my kids and cuddle with Hubby. *sigh*)
- The pending nervous breakdown. I know I have a lot of you fooled. I have a huge smile on my face and a great big loud lough. I'm constantly cutting up and wise-cracking my way through situations. Don't let me fool you. For years, I have struggled with severe emotional and psychological issues, none of which I'm ready to discuss today, as just admitting their existence is hard enough. Everything in my life exacerbate these issues and feelings. Or is it that my issues and feelings exacerbate everything in my life? Which came first - the chicken or the egg, right?
So ... all of this to say that I'm NOT a Supermom, and I think it is an imaginary standard we try to live up to. I often wonder if the women of the Bible went through any of these same emotions. I can only assume that they did, since they were just as human as we are. Reading through the Bible we come across story after story of heartache, infertility, cheating husbands, unruly children, feelings of inadequacy, and the constant struggle to keep a balance in life.
Just like us. Just like ME.
Out of all the women in the Bible, I have the most curiosity about Mary. Oh to be able to ask her what she FELT!! The range of emotions she must have experienced! When I read today's chapter, I broke out in goose bumps, realizing the vision John had was a recreation of the birth of our Savior. What a wonder to be a witness to that! Especially for John, whom Christ asked to care for his Mom. Mary .... dressed in sunlight, standing on the moon and crowned with Twelve Stars. I can't imagine a more breathtaking way to honor her.
Yet, a warning, too. Sin is always there, crouched and waiting to gobble us up. We must always be armed, on guard, and ready to battle to protect ourselves. For the Dragon has come prepared to wage war with those who keep God's commands.
- Dark circle under my eyes. I only average six hours of sleep a night - if that. I leave home early in the morning and get home late at night, then after throwing the kids in bed with quick kisses, I try to wade my way through the huge stack of papers to grade, scout camping trips to plan, files to organize, research to do, and books to read. Oh, and let's not forget trying to spend time with Hubby, too.
- The things I miss. Sir Smiley's first real steps, walking Fluffyhead Diva to school, Red's battle with incoming adolescence, and everything from Princess. I'm just not there. And not only things for my kids. In the last couple of months, I've missed two birthday parties, a baby shower, a child birth, a caving expedition, a wedding, three moving days, and countless field trips with our homeschool group. Even when I am at home, I'm doing one of the zillion things it's going to take to get caught up and back on schedule. (Schedule: that elusive creature that is supposed to allow me to do everything that must get done and still have time to play with my kids and cuddle with Hubby. *sigh*)
- The pending nervous breakdown. I know I have a lot of you fooled. I have a huge smile on my face and a great big loud lough. I'm constantly cutting up and wise-cracking my way through situations. Don't let me fool you. For years, I have struggled with severe emotional and psychological issues, none of which I'm ready to discuss today, as just admitting their existence is hard enough. Everything in my life exacerbate these issues and feelings. Or is it that my issues and feelings exacerbate everything in my life? Which came first - the chicken or the egg, right?
So ... all of this to say that I'm NOT a Supermom, and I think it is an imaginary standard we try to live up to. I often wonder if the women of the Bible went through any of these same emotions. I can only assume that they did, since they were just as human as we are. Reading through the Bible we come across story after story of heartache, infertility, cheating husbands, unruly children, feelings of inadequacy, and the constant struggle to keep a balance in life.
Just like us. Just like ME.
Out of all the women in the Bible, I have the most curiosity about Mary. Oh to be able to ask her what she FELT!! The range of emotions she must have experienced! When I read today's chapter, I broke out in goose bumps, realizing the vision John had was a recreation of the birth of our Savior. What a wonder to be a witness to that! Especially for John, whom Christ asked to care for his Mom. Mary .... dressed in sunlight, standing on the moon and crowned with Twelve Stars. I can't imagine a more breathtaking way to honor her.
Yet, a warning, too. Sin is always there, crouched and waiting to gobble us up. We must always be armed, on guard, and ready to battle to protect ourselves. For the Dragon has come prepared to wage war with those who keep God's commands.
Revelation 11
I loved the "Left Behind" series of books by Jenkins and LaHaye. I could not put them down - they had the biggest grip on me. Every new day that I open my Bible and read a new chapter, my brain automatically ticks through the series: Where am I now? What will happen next? I have a new appreciation and deeper respect for the time and care taken to write the series of books.
Today's reading is no different, and I am so excited because one of my favorite aspects of the books is revealed: the two Witnesses at the wall. The strength and power that they use to get people's attention on God and the people still walk away! Makes me very curious as to what tactics God had used on me and I still didn't pay attention. Now THAT is a Revelation.
Today's reading is no different, and I am so excited because one of my favorite aspects of the books is revealed: the two Witnesses at the wall. The strength and power that they use to get people's attention on God and the people still walk away! Makes me very curious as to what tactics God had used on me and I still didn't pay attention. Now THAT is a Revelation.
Revelation 10
The more I read, the more moved I am, and the more I realize just how stagnant I have become in Christ. There are so many things in my world right now that are not going well. It is so easy for me to shrug my shoulders and be convinced that God is testing me, and my circumstances are as such for a reason. But what have I truly done to change? I certainly haven't turned to Christ to lead me back to my pasture. This Revelation has done wonders for me, it has reminded me how merciful God is to me when I have wandered too far from the flock.
vs 11 ... Then I was told, "You must go back and prophesy again over many peoples and nations and languages and kings."
YOU MUST GO BACK.
Here is The Beloved John, at peace in the end of his days, praying, worshiping, LOVING. God speaks to John and says, "Oh NO! You are NOT done! You must go back! There are more of my children who do not yet know me ... you must go back!"
My work is no where near finished ... I must go back.
vs 11 ... Then I was told, "You must go back and prophesy again over many peoples and nations and languages and kings."
YOU MUST GO BACK.
Here is The Beloved John, at peace in the end of his days, praying, worshiping, LOVING. God speaks to John and says, "Oh NO! You are NOT done! You must go back! There are more of my children who do not yet know me ... you must go back!"
My work is no where near finished ... I must go back.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Revelation 9
After yesterday's reading, I felt almost as if I was in mourning. Kind of silly how I can be so hung up. Yes, it is the destruction of the world and I get that. But if I am focused on Christ and keep my heart turned to Him, the sights I will witness will be so much better.
Today's reading is just as frightening. The release of locusts to torture unmarked people for five months and then angels released to kill one-third of the population...
My heart is breaking. I know there are people that I interact with every day that are not saved by God. People I meet on the street, the nice cashier at the grocery store, co-workers, neighbors, and even friends. If Christ were to come today, I know people that would suffer in this way, and my heart is breaking for them.
vs 21 ... There wasn't a sign of a change of heart. They plunged right on in their murderous, occult, promiscuous, and thieving ways.
Today's reading is just as frightening. The release of locusts to torture unmarked people for five months and then angels released to kill one-third of the population...
My heart is breaking. I know there are people that I interact with every day that are not saved by God. People I meet on the street, the nice cashier at the grocery store, co-workers, neighbors, and even friends. If Christ were to come today, I know people that would suffer in this way, and my heart is breaking for them.
vs 21 ... There wasn't a sign of a change of heart. They plunged right on in their murderous, occult, promiscuous, and thieving ways.
Revelation 8
Questioning my stupidity remains with me today. Yet, I have spent another day consumed by my sins and guilty nature and I don't remember trying to change. Is Satan's grip on me so strong? Isn't God's grip tighter?
Today's reading begins the destruction of the earth, and it leaves me with a lot of conflicted emotion. I am not a nature freak by any means, but I am a total sucker for a good beach scene. I can't imagine witnessing the annihilation of His creation. It is beyond me. Beaches, mountains, waterfalls ... gone.
But wouldn't eternity with our God be so much better? Better than Hawaii. Better than Mount Everest. Better than Niagra Falls. Better than sunrises and sunsets and spring rains and freshly fallen snow.
IT WILL BE HEAVEN!!!!
But the warning still comes:
vs 13 ... I looked hard; I heard a lone eagle, flying through Middle-Heaven, crying out ominously, "Doom! Doom! Doom to everyone left on earth! There are three more Angels about to blow their trumpets. Doom is on its way!"
Today's reading begins the destruction of the earth, and it leaves me with a lot of conflicted emotion. I am not a nature freak by any means, but I am a total sucker for a good beach scene. I can't imagine witnessing the annihilation of His creation. It is beyond me. Beaches, mountains, waterfalls ... gone.
But wouldn't eternity with our God be so much better? Better than Hawaii. Better than Mount Everest. Better than Niagra Falls. Better than sunrises and sunsets and spring rains and freshly fallen snow.
IT WILL BE HEAVEN!!!!
But the warning still comes:
vs 13 ... I looked hard; I heard a lone eagle, flying through Middle-Heaven, crying out ominously, "Doom! Doom! Doom to everyone left on earth! There are three more Angels about to blow their trumpets. Doom is on its way!"
Revelation 7
Something is changing inside me. I can't quite put a finger on it, and I'm not quite sure I can come anywhere close to explaining it. The more I read, I am really starting to doubt just how true I am. I think the warnings of the destruction to come is having a hufe affect on me.
I am not living completely for Christ. I have an inexplicable need to hold something back. Behaviors I insist in keeping with me for whatever reason - no matter how stupid. I convince myself that as long as I'm not doing anything *too* bad, I'm okay. Hrumph. Sin is sin, it doesn't matter if it is "only" profanity, or if I went on a homicidal rampage.
Again, I say: Sin is sin - regardless of severity. I make the choice to sin, it could be just as easy to make the choice NOT to sin. The reckoning for my sin is coming and I am not ready.
vs 17 ... The Lamb on the Throne will shepherd them, will lead them to spring waters of Life. And God will wipe every last tear from their eyes.
Why would I be so stupid to continue my sinful nature and risk losing that?
I am not living completely for Christ. I have an inexplicable need to hold something back. Behaviors I insist in keeping with me for whatever reason - no matter how stupid. I convince myself that as long as I'm not doing anything *too* bad, I'm okay. Hrumph. Sin is sin, it doesn't matter if it is "only" profanity, or if I went on a homicidal rampage.
Again, I say: Sin is sin - regardless of severity. I make the choice to sin, it could be just as easy to make the choice NOT to sin. The reckoning for my sin is coming and I am not ready.
vs 17 ... The Lamb on the Throne will shepherd them, will lead them to spring waters of Life. And God will wipe every last tear from their eyes.
Why would I be so stupid to continue my sinful nature and risk losing that?
Revelation 6
I have been thinking about war a lot lately and the effects that it has on us as individuals.
It is no secret to anyone that knows me how much I despise the war in the Middle East. Useless and frustrating. I have two nephews that have bravely served our country and I have seen friends struggle as their husbands endure multiple deployments. It just seems so senseless.
For the past few years, I have had a war of my own: a custody battle for my daughter. She will be turning 9 this weekend ... her joy and love astound me. I had been doing very well in our little war, but some other issues have cost me to lose the last battle. But as long as I continue to have breath in my lungs, I know that I won't be completely defeated. My daughter is worth every bit of this war.
I think God probably feels the same way. He loves us so very much that He is willing to do anything to win over our hearts. Just as I am not phased by my ex-husband's (less than ethical) attourney, God does not fear Satan.
God will win the war for our souls, and we shall rejoice Him for eternity. And one day, one beautiful day, I know my princess will come home to me for good.
In today's reading, we are introduced to the Four Horsemen, a group so infamous that even non-Christians are familiar with what their appearance will bring.
vs 2 ... The white horse of Victory
vs 4 ... The red horse of Battle
vs 5 ... The black horse of Famine
vs 8 ... The colorless horse of Death
The Four Horsemen are only the first part of the battle. We are introduced to the martyrs who died proclaiming their love for Christ. Then earthquakes, darkness and pandemonium. Everyone will be afraid and they will try to hide from God's wrath.
Scary ... but that is EXACTLY how passionately God loves us! He will bring the Heavens crashing down to the ground before we are able to acknowledge and embrace the extent of His Perfect Love for us. As for me and my battle ... well, let's just all be thankful I don't have God's power. All that matters is that the Princess knows I'm fighting for her and my love for her has no end.
It is no secret to anyone that knows me how much I despise the war in the Middle East. Useless and frustrating. I have two nephews that have bravely served our country and I have seen friends struggle as their husbands endure multiple deployments. It just seems so senseless.
For the past few years, I have had a war of my own: a custody battle for my daughter. She will be turning 9 this weekend ... her joy and love astound me. I had been doing very well in our little war, but some other issues have cost me to lose the last battle. But as long as I continue to have breath in my lungs, I know that I won't be completely defeated. My daughter is worth every bit of this war.
I think God probably feels the same way. He loves us so very much that He is willing to do anything to win over our hearts. Just as I am not phased by my ex-husband's (less than ethical) attourney, God does not fear Satan.
God will win the war for our souls, and we shall rejoice Him for eternity. And one day, one beautiful day, I know my princess will come home to me for good.
In today's reading, we are introduced to the Four Horsemen, a group so infamous that even non-Christians are familiar with what their appearance will bring.
vs 2 ... The white horse of Victory
vs 4 ... The red horse of Battle
vs 5 ... The black horse of Famine
vs 8 ... The colorless horse of Death
The Four Horsemen are only the first part of the battle. We are introduced to the martyrs who died proclaiming their love for Christ. Then earthquakes, darkness and pandemonium. Everyone will be afraid and they will try to hide from God's wrath.
Scary ... but that is EXACTLY how passionately God loves us! He will bring the Heavens crashing down to the ground before we are able to acknowledge and embrace the extent of His Perfect Love for us. As for me and my battle ... well, let's just all be thankful I don't have God's power. All that matters is that the Princess knows I'm fighting for her and my love for her has no end.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Revelation 5
For the record, I'm still singing "I Can Only Imagine", but this morning the words have become intertwined with "Better is One Day" ... Go figure.
Better is one day in Your courts, better is one day in Your house. Better is one day in Your courts than thousands elsewhere.
Reading Revelation is so much different than any of the reading I've ever done before. In other books, it is so easy to separate verses out and comment on them. Witht his book, I become so overwhelmed by the magnitude of what I'm reading, that to tear it apart into pieces is more than I can bare. Maybe I'll do better the next time I read it ...
vs 6 ... "So I looked, and there, surrounded by Throne, Animals, and Elders, was a Lamb, slaughtered by standing tall."
My Messiah! You came for us, as gentle as a lame and you were sacrificed so that we could be saved from our sin!
YOU SAVED US!! Your blood was shed so that we may have freedom in You! That is why we bow at Your feet in adoration!
Better is one day in Your courts, better is one day in Your house. Better is one day in Your courts than thousands elsewhere.
Reading Revelation is so much different than any of the reading I've ever done before. In other books, it is so easy to separate verses out and comment on them. Witht his book, I become so overwhelmed by the magnitude of what I'm reading, that to tear it apart into pieces is more than I can bare. Maybe I'll do better the next time I read it ...
vs 6 ... "So I looked, and there, surrounded by Throne, Animals, and Elders, was a Lamb, slaughtered by standing tall."
My Messiah! You came for us, as gentle as a lame and you were sacrificed so that we could be saved from our sin!
YOU SAVED US!! Your blood was shed so that we may have freedom in You! That is why we bow at Your feet in adoration!
Revelation 4
I've been praying about being stuck in the sin of the world - praying that God will grant me the wisdom to see my errors and be patient while I learn how to fix them.
Sir Smiley is learning how to walk and watching his progress really pulls on my heartstrings. He is just too nervous to let go and move! He finds comfort in crawling because it's familiar and he knows he can do it.
Aren't we all like that? If we just learn to trust in Him, we'd be fine! He will take care of us! If only we could take that first step to walk out of what is familiar and comfortable...
I'm very exciting about reading Chapter 4. The splendor and beauty of Christ's throne revealed. To go through and explain how I feel would be both time-consuming and insufficient. I am enchanted by the most overwhelming worship ever. Voices raised as one, light and beauty, all for Him. I still can't wrap my head around it.
vs 2 ... I was caught up at once in deep worship and, oh! - a Throne set in heaven with One Seated on the Throne.
After yesterday's readying, I had the song "I Can Only Imagine" stuck in my head ...
I can only imagine, when that day will come, and I find myself standing in The Son. Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel? Will I dance for you, Jesus, or in awe of You be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall? Will I sing HALLELUJAH - will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine ... I can only imagine...
The truth is, I CAN'T imagine it AT ALL! The idea of being in the Lord's presence is too big for me. In our everyday life, we have drama. As I have grown as a Christian, most of my drama I have been able to pray my way through: finances, homeschooling, sub-standard housing, ailing parents, etc. but I also have real human pain and a Mama's heart. It makes me sad if a friend is experiencing hardship or pain, and it makes me sad when my children are hurting. Even if all they do is fall and skin their knee, I get a little teary-eyed. (Although, I always tell them to brush it off and get back to playing - I'm NOT raising wimps! LOL)
To imagine all that pain GONE, fears GONE, worry GONE, frustration GONE ... to imagine that by it self is difficult. But then to multiply that by adding worship?
Wow.
No ... no, I can't imagine it at all.
Sir Smiley is learning how to walk and watching his progress really pulls on my heartstrings. He is just too nervous to let go and move! He finds comfort in crawling because it's familiar and he knows he can do it.
Aren't we all like that? If we just learn to trust in Him, we'd be fine! He will take care of us! If only we could take that first step to walk out of what is familiar and comfortable...
I'm very exciting about reading Chapter 4. The splendor and beauty of Christ's throne revealed. To go through and explain how I feel would be both time-consuming and insufficient. I am enchanted by the most overwhelming worship ever. Voices raised as one, light and beauty, all for Him. I still can't wrap my head around it.
vs 2 ... I was caught up at once in deep worship and, oh! - a Throne set in heaven with One Seated on the Throne.
After yesterday's readying, I had the song "I Can Only Imagine" stuck in my head ...
I can only imagine, when that day will come, and I find myself standing in The Son. Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel? Will I dance for you, Jesus, or in awe of You be still?
Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall? Will I sing HALLELUJAH - will I be able to speak at all?
I can only imagine ... I can only imagine...
The truth is, I CAN'T imagine it AT ALL! The idea of being in the Lord's presence is too big for me. In our everyday life, we have drama. As I have grown as a Christian, most of my drama I have been able to pray my way through: finances, homeschooling, sub-standard housing, ailing parents, etc. but I also have real human pain and a Mama's heart. It makes me sad if a friend is experiencing hardship or pain, and it makes me sad when my children are hurting. Even if all they do is fall and skin their knee, I get a little teary-eyed. (Although, I always tell them to brush it off and get back to playing - I'm NOT raising wimps! LOL)
To imagine all that pain GONE, fears GONE, worry GONE, frustration GONE ... to imagine that by it self is difficult. But then to multiply that by adding worship?
Wow.
No ... no, I can't imagine it at all.
Revelation 3
I may have fallen behind in my writing, but I have enjoyed the reading. I had shared that I had many fears for years about really studying this story, but my feelings have changed. The things our God has in store for us are indeed intimidating, but I am no longer fearful, because I am His. And, after all, He is warning us beforehand. When the time comes, there will be no surprises - the entire plan is laid out right here.
vs 4 ... "... wallowing in the mud of the world's ways"
Is this me? Do I let myself get mired down in all of the gunk and goo of everyday life? I think most people do on occasion. The important part is what we are doing to get out of it. With the Word of God, we are able to grab onto a rope to climb out, and bathe in His mercy and forgiveness to wash off.
vs 4 ... "... wallowing in the mud of the world's ways"
Is this me? Do I let myself get mired down in all of the gunk and goo of everyday life? I think most people do on occasion. The important part is what we are doing to get out of it. With the Word of God, we are able to grab onto a rope to climb out, and bathe in His mercy and forgiveness to wash off.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Revelation 2
I am still overflowing with yesterday's message! How can anyone read those words and not be overwhelmed by knowing that our Messiah is coming to take us home! Today, the rubber meets the road though ....
vs 5 ... "Do you have any idea how far you have fallen? A Lucifer fall!"
Ouch.
I know ... I was there. I allowed Satan to use me for so many years. How he must have delighted in me!! The road I have traveled since turning from him has been arduous but completely worth it!
vs 7 ... "Listen. Listen to the Wind Words, the Spirit blowing through the churches..." It is so easy to turn to each other so that we can hearf what we *want* to hear, but how often do we quiet ourselves to and listen to what we are *supposed* to hear? The Spirit is there every day speaking to us - too bad we drown out The Voice with all of our unnecessary garbage and the incessant whining of our own voices!
And, just for the record, I am completely guilty of this as well. In fact, I become very reliant on other people's opinions of what I am doing or what I should be doing. Thankfully, God has blessed me by surrounding me with people that are in the Spirit!
vs 10 ... "I have a Life-Crown sized and ready for you." I am the daughter of the King of Kings! I am a member of His royal family! He has hand-crafted a crown solely for me, and it will fit perfectly ... I am His princess.
vs 23 ... "I x-ray every motive and make sure you get what's coming to you." When I read this, I am reminded of those insane TV evangelists that make most Christians cringe. Or of politicians who are underhanded. Or of just about anybody else who is put in a position of authority over us in order to guide us and protect us, but who end up doing the exact oppisite. God not only know exactly WHAT we are doing, He knows exactly WHY we are doing it.
What will He see when I step up to His x-ray machine? I am a little afraid to ask, actually...
vs 5 ... "Do you have any idea how far you have fallen? A Lucifer fall!"
Ouch.
I know ... I was there. I allowed Satan to use me for so many years. How he must have delighted in me!! The road I have traveled since turning from him has been arduous but completely worth it!
vs 7 ... "Listen. Listen to the Wind Words, the Spirit blowing through the churches..." It is so easy to turn to each other so that we can hearf what we *want* to hear, but how often do we quiet ourselves to and listen to what we are *supposed* to hear? The Spirit is there every day speaking to us - too bad we drown out The Voice with all of our unnecessary garbage and the incessant whining of our own voices!
And, just for the record, I am completely guilty of this as well. In fact, I become very reliant on other people's opinions of what I am doing or what I should be doing. Thankfully, God has blessed me by surrounding me with people that are in the Spirit!
vs 10 ... "I have a Life-Crown sized and ready for you." I am the daughter of the King of Kings! I am a member of His royal family! He has hand-crafted a crown solely for me, and it will fit perfectly ... I am His princess.
vs 23 ... "I x-ray every motive and make sure you get what's coming to you." When I read this, I am reminded of those insane TV evangelists that make most Christians cringe. Or of politicians who are underhanded. Or of just about anybody else who is put in a position of authority over us in order to guide us and protect us, but who end up doing the exact oppisite. God not only know exactly WHAT we are doing, He knows exactly WHY we are doing it.
What will He see when I step up to His x-ray machine? I am a little afraid to ask, actually...
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Revelation 1
I am SOOOOO excited about finally getting the opportunity to read this book with some focused intensity and alongside some truly impassioned Students of the Word. I have to admit, I have always ben intimidated to read this beatutiful Revealing of God's plan. After all, THIS is THE plan!! The Word just doesn get more honest than this. If you truly accept Christ as your Savior, then you have to recognize and accept that this is what God has in store for us - His creation. No hiding, no excuses. Time to face my fear and jump in!
Sidebar: After some debate, I decided to read The Message version. I know it creates a little controversy, and lots of people really have strong feelings against this version. Personally, I appreciate it for the no-nonsense and clear approach. Lately, I've been doing my study on the bus on my way to work. At this hour of day, before my coffee, I NEED no-nonsense clarity.
So .... let's do this!
vs 1 ... I love how right away John tells us that he isn't dreaming and this did not come from him. He tells us that he is bringing a very clear message straight from Heaven!
vs 4 ... I love that Jesus is called "About to Arrive" instead of "Is to Come". Doesn't it sound so close? To Him, it really is just the blink of an eye. He is About to Arrive!
The harder I try to imagine how John must have felt that day, the more difficult it becomes. Here he is in exile - the One That Jesus Loved - banished for teaching the love of Our Savior. He is praying and worshipping, IN THE SPIRIT he says, and suddenly he is overtaken by The Messiah!!
... Behold he comes
Riding on the clouds
Shining like the sun
As the trumpets call!
Lift your voice
It's the year of jubilee,
And out of Zion's hills Salvation comes!!
THERE IS NO GOD LIKE JEHOVAH!!!!!
Sidebar: After some debate, I decided to read The Message version. I know it creates a little controversy, and lots of people really have strong feelings against this version. Personally, I appreciate it for the no-nonsense and clear approach. Lately, I've been doing my study on the bus on my way to work. At this hour of day, before my coffee, I NEED no-nonsense clarity.
So .... let's do this!
vs 1 ... I love how right away John tells us that he isn't dreaming and this did not come from him. He tells us that he is bringing a very clear message straight from Heaven!
vs 4 ... I love that Jesus is called "About to Arrive" instead of "Is to Come". Doesn't it sound so close? To Him, it really is just the blink of an eye. He is About to Arrive!
The harder I try to imagine how John must have felt that day, the more difficult it becomes. Here he is in exile - the One That Jesus Loved - banished for teaching the love of Our Savior. He is praying and worshipping, IN THE SPIRIT he says, and suddenly he is overtaken by The Messiah!!
... Behold he comes
Riding on the clouds
Shining like the sun
As the trumpets call!
Lift your voice
It's the year of jubilee,
And out of Zion's hills Salvation comes!!
THERE IS NO GOD LIKE JEHOVAH!!!!!
My Own Revelation
It has been some time again since I have attempted this blogging thing. I find it rather amusing that as much as I have to say, how unwilling I am to sit down and actually say it. Entirely unacceptable. The truth is, I have a lot rambling around in this scattered brain of mine, and I really would like to share it ... even if it never gets read.
I am truly inspired every day by the powerful Word of God. I have been blessed to be part of several study groups and would love to impart just a bit of the inspiration I get every single day! I read books that I love to quote, children that do some whacktacular things that I love to share, and my sassy attitude has to have some form of acceptable outlet!
So I'm going to give this another shot and see what happens. Who knows? Maybe I'll inspire someone else to have their own Revelation.
:)
I am truly inspired every day by the powerful Word of God. I have been blessed to be part of several study groups and would love to impart just a bit of the inspiration I get every single day! I read books that I love to quote, children that do some whacktacular things that I love to share, and my sassy attitude has to have some form of acceptable outlet!
So I'm going to give this another shot and see what happens. Who knows? Maybe I'll inspire someone else to have their own Revelation.
:)
Friday, June 25, 2010
Learning to lean on God
A wonderful conversation with a very dear friend last night:
Me: I've been a Christian for 8 years now.
Her: Yes, I know! Isn't it amazing?
Me: I still feel like I'm an infant in my faith.
Her: Well, I think we'll *always* feel like that.
Me: I think there's probably an expiration date on how much longer I can say that I'm too young in my faith to understand some things.
Her: Yes, and I think you've already passed it!
HA!
I must admit that there are many many times when I feel that I am unprepared and unworthy for the amazing love and devotion my Heavenly Father feels for me. So often I doubt that I am even a blip on His radar. The end of the line. The bottom of the stack. Why oh why should my pesky little troubles matter to Him? Oh yeah - silly me! Because He CREATED me and He LOVES me. Just as I care whether or not one of my children is moody or frustrated about a toy, a friend, a computer game, or whatever ... my Abba cares about the problems in my life - with my job, my marriage ... or whatever.
So, why do I second guess his willingness to help me? Is it my lack of faith? Is it because there is absolutely no way I can wrap my head around the amount of love He has to give me? I continually withhold the biggest things in my life that I need His help with, as if I can't trust Him to be worried about "little ol' me".
At some point, I really must let go and let God ... but how do you LEARN how to do that? There's no 12-step program or "Leaning on God for Dummies" ... believe me, I've looked.
Me: I've been a Christian for 8 years now.
Her: Yes, I know! Isn't it amazing?
Me: I still feel like I'm an infant in my faith.
Her: Well, I think we'll *always* feel like that.
Me: I think there's probably an expiration date on how much longer I can say that I'm too young in my faith to understand some things.
Her: Yes, and I think you've already passed it!
HA!
I must admit that there are many many times when I feel that I am unprepared and unworthy for the amazing love and devotion my Heavenly Father feels for me. So often I doubt that I am even a blip on His radar. The end of the line. The bottom of the stack. Why oh why should my pesky little troubles matter to Him? Oh yeah - silly me! Because He CREATED me and He LOVES me. Just as I care whether or not one of my children is moody or frustrated about a toy, a friend, a computer game, or whatever ... my Abba cares about the problems in my life - with my job, my marriage ... or whatever.
So, why do I second guess his willingness to help me? Is it my lack of faith? Is it because there is absolutely no way I can wrap my head around the amount of love He has to give me? I continually withhold the biggest things in my life that I need His help with, as if I can't trust Him to be worried about "little ol' me".
At some point, I really must let go and let God ... but how do you LEARN how to do that? There's no 12-step program or "Leaning on God for Dummies" ... believe me, I've looked.
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