vs 12 ... And there I saw all the dead, great and small, standing there - before the Throne! And books were opened. Then another book was opened: the Book of Life. The dead were judged by what was written in the books, by the way they had lived.
vs 15 ... Anyone whose name was not found inscribed in the Book of Life was hurled into Lake Fire.
Lake Fire. Hell. Eternal damnation. Forever in darkness, away from the Light of God. When I stand before my God in judgement, what will he say of me? I do not think I am worthy. I do not feel as if I am living up to the excellence I know He wants from me. During this entire study, that is what I keep struggling with and what I keep coming back to. I am not doing enough to live a glorious life for Christ.
Okay, maybe I'm being a little too hard on myself. But I don't know how to glance inward and see more successes than I do failures. I am spending more time in The Word now than I ever have before, but my prayer routine has gone off kilter. I've been working with Fluffyhead Diva with her Old Testament stories at church, but we aren't doing any family study right now.
(Sidebar: This is another huge frustration for me because I firmly believe that it is Hubby's ordained duty to lead our family in worship. He hasn't been and now we're at a standoff. Do I pick up and try to do something anyway? Or do I just sit here and pray for his heart to change? Ugh)
I am attempting a closer walk with Christ, but I have many trip-ups and set-backs and I'm getting sooo very frustrated. Sweet Messiah, if only you would be more clear with me and point out what you want me to do. Above anyone else, you know how stubborn my heart is and how stupid I can be! Be clear with me. Be precise.
Somewhere, there has got to be a Google navigation system for God's Word to get to my brain.
vs 15 ... Anyone whose name was not found inscribed in the Book of Life was hurled into Lake Fire.
Lake Fire. Hell. Eternal damnation. Forever in darkness, away from the Light of God. When I stand before my God in judgement, what will he say of me? I do not think I am worthy. I do not feel as if I am living up to the excellence I know He wants from me. During this entire study, that is what I keep struggling with and what I keep coming back to. I am not doing enough to live a glorious life for Christ.
Okay, maybe I'm being a little too hard on myself. But I don't know how to glance inward and see more successes than I do failures. I am spending more time in The Word now than I ever have before, but my prayer routine has gone off kilter. I've been working with Fluffyhead Diva with her Old Testament stories at church, but we aren't doing any family study right now.
(Sidebar: This is another huge frustration for me because I firmly believe that it is Hubby's ordained duty to lead our family in worship. He hasn't been and now we're at a standoff. Do I pick up and try to do something anyway? Or do I just sit here and pray for his heart to change? Ugh)
I am attempting a closer walk with Christ, but I have many trip-ups and set-backs and I'm getting sooo very frustrated. Sweet Messiah, if only you would be more clear with me and point out what you want me to do. Above anyone else, you know how stubborn my heart is and how stupid I can be! Be clear with me. Be precise.
Somewhere, there has got to be a Google navigation system for God's Word to get to my brain.
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